<skrrrt><skrrrt> Is this thing working?
<SQUEAL> Ow! I guess so. All right, then. <ahem> Good
morning, students, and welcome back to another year at Rowan Glenn
Academy. We hope you've had an enjoyable break, and would like to
take this opportunity to remind you of a few simple rules we have
that will make life easier for everyone here at school.
- When you are in the library, do not attempt to find the
Library. We will have to hire a Librarian to find you, which is not
covered under your school subscription.
- The restricted section of the library is restricted for a
reason. Do not attempt to read any of the books there without a
teacher or librarian supervising you.
- Items of Power must be checked with the office upon arrival. We
will return them as needed for classes, and when you leave for the
day.
- By now, you should all know how to read without mouthing the
words or saying them aloud. Do so. We still haven't found Timmy
Elfinger.
- No summoning of demons on school grounds, unless under the
direct supervision of a teacher, for a specific class project. And
that includes you kittens. On that note, we have a message from a
Mr. Krelpaz, reminding us that summoning someone, just so you can
shred him, is downright rude. As well, I would like to remind you
that doing so violates the zero aggression principle.
- No holy wars on school grounds. This includes religious,
political, and operating system.
- Mr. MacManus would like to remind you all that you can not hack
into him and change your grades. He welcomes you to try, if you
think you're good enough, but he advises that if you do, you should
use a computer cheap enough that your parents can afford to replace
it before the next school day.
- All class projects must be approved, in advance, by your
teacher. Any which do not conform to the zero aggression principle
will be disapproved.
- The King In Yellow is not, has never been, and
will never be, approved for performance in this school, in any form
whatsoever.
- Our testing staff informs me that the wards on the testing
rooms have been updated for the new year, and include a number of
nasty surprises for anyone who attempts to cheat. So, just don't
try.
- On the subject of testing, anyone who wishes to take dragon
level classes must score a minimum of 2800 on the placement test.
Your MacManuses are not allowed to assist you on those tests, so
you may as well just take a cheap scientific calculator.
- If you have a non-furry form, please remember to be in that
form when using the school swimming pool. Our maintenance staff
will thank you.
- Alchemy and Chemistry are different subjects, and use different
laboratories. Please remember to use the appropriate
laboratory.
- Remember, the zero aggression principle includes bullying,
threats, and swirlies.
- If you have special dietary, life support, or medical
requirements, please be sure to update your information with the
school nurse.
- Each class has required equipment, whether it is pencils or EOD
suits. Use the equipment necessary for your class.
- When your experiment is about to explode, warn your classmates.
"Oh shit" is not an adequate warning.
- If your translator is having trouble with English, Mr. MacManus
will examine it and make necessary adjustments. Remember, for those
who are equipped for human speech, English is the school's language
of choice, and is to be used everywhere except in language
classes.
- Demonic and magical languages are to be studied only in the
warded classrooms. All associated materials will remain in the
classrooms.
- The school is shielded against network access. Don't bother
trying. Within the school, your computer is for class work, not
gaming.
- The rifle and pistol ranges are certified for lead-based
ammunition only. By the same token, the archery
range is only certified for field points.
- First violations of the zero aggression principle will result
in detention. Additional violations will result in termination of
your subscription.
- Unexcused absences and tardies will be made up in
detention.
- Any student who is late for school for any reason other than an
unforeseen family emergency will be considered tardy.
- Students who are assigned detention will be barred from the
next dance and the next athletic event.
The basketball team will be conducting tryouts on Wednesday, in
the gym, at 5:00.
The swim team will be conducting tryouts on Saturday, in the
pool, at 10:00.
There will be a moopsball exhibition in the Arboretum this
weekend, running from 5:00 Friday until 5:00 Sunday. The organizers
have requested that anyone under 14 attend only with a parent.
Student clubs will be exhibiting in the auditorium next week.
Take this opportunity to discover and take part in the clubs we
have at the Academy.
There will be a Parents Night on the 23rd. Emails have already
been sent, so now is a good time to make a good impression on your
teachers.
The first football game of the season will be next Friday,
against the Dirac Bay Pirates. There will be a group leaving for
the game at 6:30, at Elevator Fifteen. Sign-up list will be in the
office as of this morning.
We would like to welcome Mr. Evans to the school. He will be
taking the place of Mr. Wilson, who is undertaking a tutoring job
in Tycho City.
Oh yes, for those of you who are new here, the girl's bathroom
in Blue Corridor is haunted, but she's friendly, so there's nothing
to worry about. If you'd like to be friends, her name is Paula.
Attempts to evict her will be seen as aggression. And she is very
capable of dealing with aggressors.
What's this? Oh? Do I have....Oh, all right. <ahem> Lunch
today will be...let me see if I can read this....The standard menu
for air breathers is Meat loaf or roast beef, green beans, mashed
potatoes and gravy, with cherry cobbler for dessert. For water
breathers, the menu is your choice of herring or clams, with nori,
wakame, or hijiki, and candied sea cucumber. For those who have to
hunt their lunch, an enclosure, with pool, is available next to the
cafeteria. There's a footnote here...someone stole the shipment of
blue Jello? The cafeteria staff is offering a reward to anyone who
can help them recover it.