Lada looked up from the table, where she was writing notes on the slate Fred had given her. Her morning prayers had helped her feel a bit less triggered after yesterday, but trying to make the house more organized was giving her something to ground herself in ways even prayers couldn't. She thought she heard someone at the front door, but wasn't sure. Setting aside her slate, she got up and walked to the front door. Just before she got there, she heard someone calling out.
"Fred? Aribeth? Is anyone up and about? Damn it, Freki, I don't have time to play right now!"
Lada opened the door and saw one of the guards from the Twisted Tower, and Freki, bounding about with one of his rawhide chew toys, trying to get the guard to play.
"Hello. My name is Lada. How may I help you?" Lada snapped her fingers, and Freki trotted up to her, dropped his toy on her foot, then sat and looked up at her eagerly.
"I'm hoping you can help," the guard said. "A minotaur came to the tower this morning and asked for directions to Fred's house. That's more than a little weird, but Fred seems to specialize in weird, so we're hoping it's something he'll understand."
Lada smiled, chuckled softly, and said, "I think I understand. He does specialize in weird. Let me just go in and leave a note for him and Aribeth, and I'll come with you to get him."
"Are you sure about that?" the guard asked. "This is a minotaur we're talking about. They're not exactly good neighbors."
"If this minotaur is named Gan," Lada said, "or was sent by Gan, I feel confident coming with you." She reached down to scratch Freki between the ears.
"All right," the guard said. "I'll just wait here, then."
Lada went to the kitchen and got her slate, wrote a note telling Fred and Aribeth where she was going, and slid it under the bedroom door. She grabbed her staff on the way back down stairs and met the guard at the door. "I'm ready when you are." Freki saw Lada preparing to leave and bounced around, wagging his tail excitedly.
"Yes, you're coming with me," Lada said to Freki in a resigned tone. "Fred would have my hide if you didn't." She blushed deeply as she said it.
The walk from the graveyard to the Twisted Tower took a little over a half hour, with the guard talking along the way about his family, whose farm was in an outlying area of the dale, and how happy they were that someone was giving the dead from the Zhent invasion the care they were due. When they got to the tower, Azalar walked out to meet them.
"Lada," Azalar said, smiling warmly. His charm was evident even this early in the day, and despite the unusual circumstances. "Did Fred or Aribeth tell you anything about being friends with minotaurs? We have one in the audience hall, who actually shows up as good, and who claims that his tribe sent him to find Fred and Aribeth."
"Hello?" Lada said, an undertone of nervousness in her voice, but trying her best to sound like she knew what she was saying. "I've been told about a group of minotaurs who formed a tribe, partially based on an agreement not to hunt intelligent beings. Fred helped free them and is considered a member of the tribe."
"So," Azalar said, "he really could be what he says. This is interesting. Very interesting. Why don't we go in and talk to him, then?"
Azalar led the way into the tower, through a doorway that looked as if it led into a dungeon cell. As soon as he had walked into the dungeon, Azalar vanished. When Lada followed, the cell vanished and she found herself in a hall, with a modest throne at one end, and a council table in front of the throne. Sitting on one end of the table, due to his size, was a minotaur, currently talking with one of Storm's guests in a language Lada didn't know. He had a yarting resting on his lap, and a large hand drum hanging across his back, next to his greataxe.
Azalar tapped the Harper on the shoulder, and he nodded, then said something further to the minotaur before stepping back so Azalar and Lada could approach.
"You are with Fred?" the minotaur asked. "I am Ulf, of the Bull Tribe. Gan sent me to find Fred and Aribeth, to help our tribe defend against the killers from the human city of Neverwinter."
"Oh dear," Azalar said softly, then gathered himself and said to Ulf, "Fred lives with us, yes. Lada is Fred and Aribeth's betrothed, and came to speak with you in response to our summons."
"Freki!" Ulf said, sliding off the table and crouching as Freki bounded across the room to him. "I remember when you were just a pup, you silly wolf." He ran his claws through Freki's fur, while Freki wagged his tail happily.
"Well," Azalar said, visibly relaxing and smiling. "Freki can lead you to Fred's house, and I'm sure Lada can answer any questions you may have. Welcome to Shadowdale."
"I thank you," Ulf said, rising and bowing to Azalar. "Friendly relations with humans are often hard to accomplish, but as long as we follow the teachings of Silvanus, our tribe is strong."
"Your tribe...," Azalar asked, surprised, "Follows Silvanus?"
"We do," Ulf said. "At first, some of us tried for a more extreme path, but we came to understand that the balance of nature is in our blood, and so it is best that we honor that."
"Our druid circle is close enough that I can tell them you are here, if you like," Azalar said.
"That would be good," Ulf agreed. "I will need to hunt while I am here, and I need to know what they require before I do."
"I'll take care of that today, and tell you at Fred's house."
"Thank you." Ulf turned to Lada and said, "Lead on, good lady."
"Of course," Lada said, and turned to lead the way back out of the tower, glancing over her shoulder as she left the audience hall, confirming that, yes, it did look like a dungeon cell when viewed from the doorway.
On the way back to the graveyard, Lada was stopped several times by people who asked if she was in any danger. By the time they got to the Old Skull Inn, a guard joined them, just so he could reassure the people they passed that Ulf was not a threat, either to Lada or to them. Ulf, meanwhile, kept quiet, clearly not wishing to add to the fears of those they passed.
When they finally got back to the graveyard, Lada turned to the guard and said, "Thank you for helping us. I was afraid we'd never make it back here. Would you like to come in for a drink?"
"Just doing my job, ma'am," the guard said with a smile. He looked up at Ulf and added, "And it helped a lot that you didn't talk much, sir."
"Nervous humans are a fact of life," Ulf said. "I try to ease their fears as much as I can, but when I'm not performing, it's not as easy."
"If you'd like, I could ask around at the inn, see if they'd give you a chance to perform there." The guard looked as if the idea of a bardic minotaur was just strange enough that he'd make time to see it himself.
"I would appreciate that. What news I have, and stories I can tell, should draw at least a small crowd, I would think." Ulf chuckled as he said that.
"A small crowd," the guard laughed. "Uh-huh. I'll go talk to Jhaele. I think she'll be interested, too."
Lada opened the door and led the way in. She gestured into the living room as she walked through. "You can set your things down there, if you like." In the kitchen, she opened the back door and pointed out and to the left. "The outhouse is that way if you need it. What would you like for breakfast? Fred and Aribeth should be up soon."
"Breakfast?" Ulf asked, slightly confused. "Have you been fasting?" He looked up and suggested, "I could get some of that bacon down, if you'd like."
"Yes, please," Lada said. "Thank you."
Ulf took a slab of bacon off its hook and set it down on the kitchen table. Lada studied Fred's collection of kitchen knives, then picked the largest of the set and began carving off slices of bacon. Freki danced around the table, yapping excitedly while his tail wagged fast enough to be a blur.
"Freki!" Fred yelled down the stairs. "It's only bacon!"
"Yes," Ulf roared back, "but you know it's his favorite treat."
Lada heard the sound of feet running down the stairs, and Fred appeared in the kitchen, as naked as if he'd never seen Lada's note. Seeing Ulf, he let out a happy shout. "Ulf! Damn, but it's good to see you!"
Ulf wrapped his arms around Fred and squeezed, lifting him off the floor as he laughed. "We've all missed you, too. So where's your tiny, fragile mate?"
"Right here, you big oaf," Aribeth laughed. She was wearing a robe, and had another in her hand, waiting for Ulf to put Fred down so he could take it. "What brings you all the way to Shadowdale?"
Lada crouched in front of the stove, poked at the coals in the fire box, then added fresh wood to the fire. While it was getting established, she went back to the table and cut more bacon.
"Trouble," Ulf said sadly. "An army from Neverwinter has been invading the High Forest. They have slaughtered any who stood against them, from dryads to dragons, and no one outside the forest seems to care. We have been protecting the village of Olostin's Hold from their attacks, but if we can't find a way to drive them away, we will lose the village, and the tribe will die."
"They're what?" Fred exploded. "And no one seems to care? That's outrageous! What about Evereska?"
"Still fighting the phaerimm," Ulf said.
"Silverymoon?" Aribeth asked.
"Many-Arrows."
"Waterdeep?" Fred suggested.
"Your guess is as good as mine."
"All right, then," Fred said, looking to Aribeth for confirmation, "we were already planning a trip to Neverwinter, but now...." He looked up at Ulf. "Will you want to go ahead of us to tell Gan we're coming? Or will you want to travel with us?"
"I won't be able to get there far enough ahead of you to make a difference," Ulf said, "so I might as well travel with you. I left just before first snow. I just hope we can make it back faster than it took me to get here."
"So do I," Fred said, while donning the robe Aribeth had brought. "We were already planning to head that way, because of what we knew about Neverwinter, but we didn't have any idea they were already causing that kind of trouble."
"We'll have to tell Storm about it," Aribeth said. "Assuming she hasn't heard more since yesterday, that is."
"The fey gentleman at the Twisted Tower mentioned someone named Storm, too," Ulf said. "I assume you're both talking about the same person?"
"Azalar?" Aribeth nodded. "Yes, we would be. Storm lives just across the stream from us. I'm not sure where she'll be today, but she'll need to know anything you can tell her about the situation. We can go look for her later. This is the first chance Lada's had to cook breakfast, so I think we should take our time and enjoy it before we do anything else."
"Good idea," Fred said. "And while she's doing that, I need to get something from the shed. Did you bring a bow with you, or were you planning to go hunting with nothing but that big axe of yours?"
"I'd be awful hungry if I didn't have a bow," Ulf snorted. "There just aren't enough labyrinths around for me to use, after all."
"Good point," Fred laughed, while opening the kitchen door. "Ari does all our hunting, so she can show you her favorite spots. Be right back."
"He's right," Aribeth said. "I do all the hunting, so if you need a guide, I'm available."
'Thank you." Ulf watched Lada at the stove and said, "You're rather quiet, Lady Lada."
"The less I say," Lada said, "the less time my feet spend in my mouth."
"Don't mind her," Aribeth said, laughing. "She underestimates herself on a regular basis." She walked up behind Lada and gave her a hug. "Want me to take over the stove, love?"
"Yes, please," Lada said, returning the hug and looking grateful. "Thank you."
"Breathe, love," Aribeth whispered, then laughed softly and moved to take over cooking the bacon.
Lada had a thoughtful expression as she cleaned off the table. Fred came in the door, carrying a small bundle, and walked over to Lada.
"Would you test this for me, love?" he whispered, offering Lada the bundle. Inside were a couple dozen bars of milky pink soap, with rose petals embedded in them.
Lada took a bar of soap, touched it to her tongue, then nodded. Fred smiled and hugged her, then put the bundle down in the center of the table. Aribeth looked up from the stove and grinned.
"What are you two up to?" Aribeth asked, laughing. "Are you plotting something?"
"Who? Me?" Fred asked, looking as innocent as possible.
"That expression still doesn't work," Ulf commented, while moving the chair from the end of the table farthest from the stove, then sitting on the floor where it had been. "Yup. Just the right height."
Lada covered her mouth and tried, unsuccessfully, to not giggle. She said, "I just do what he tells me," then gave Fred a sultry look. He gulped and sat down abruptly.
"Touch\'e9," Aribeth said, then joined Lada in giggling. She whispered to Lada, "If you want to have some fun, go upstairs and look in the chest next to my armoire."
"OK," Lada whispered, biting her lip. "Thank you."
"Knee trouble?" Ulf asked, grinning at Fred.
"Knee?" Fred asked, looking confused for a moment, then blushed deeply. "No...no...not knee trouble. Just....I think I need to change into something more suitable for daytime wear. Aribeth, don't touch that bundle until I get back." He started to stand.
"Yes, Sir," Aribeth purred, then winked at Lada as Fred sat down abruptly again.
Lada gave Aribeth a confused look, while Ulf snickered.
"Lada?" Aribeth asked softly. "Why the confused look?"
"Fred hates that term!" Lada blurted. "He knows who his parents are! He may hate them, but he knows who they are!"
Fred looked at Lada, blinked, then fell out of his chair, laughing. Ulf joined in the laughter, pounding on the table with one big fist, while supporting himself with the other hand to avoid joining Fred.
Aribeth blinked in surprise at Lada, then asked, "What do you mean?"
"What she means," Fred gasped out between bursts of laughter, "Is that...I'm a sergeant...not an officer....Gods...I haven't....heard that...in...years!"
"But...," Aribeth said, looking from Lada to Fred, "I don't understand. You were knighted...well, before we were sentenced to death, anyway."
Lada blushed crimson and buried her face in her hands, muttering, "This is why I should never open my mouth."
"Back on Earth," Fred said, once he had recovered from his laughter, "I had spent some time in the military. While I was in, I was promoted to Sergeant. Whenever someone calls a Sergeant 'sir,' there are several automatic responses to point out the error. The most common is 'Don't call me sir! I know who my parents are!'" He began laughing again. "You thought that meant I hated the term? Oh dear. I guess I was far more vehement than I needed to be. Then again, everyone I ever had to address as 'sir' was, at best, morally deficient...and at worst, a perfect example of a Baneite."
"All right," Aribeth said, "I think I'd have a bad attitude about the word, too. But..." She gave Fred a questioning look.
"It's OK Treasure," Fred said gently. "You have no reason to apologize."
Ulf snorted. "Do I need to take over burning the bacon so you three can go upstairs?"
"Uh...no?" Aribeth squeaked, turning back to the stove. Fred laughed, while blushing deeply, pulled his robe tightly around himself, and stood to head upstairs. Lada squeaked, grabbed a broom, and fled to the living room.
Aribeth had the bacon almost done when Fred returned, his robe exchanged for something more suitable for daytime wear. Ulf was gnawing on a sausage, and talking to Aribeth between bites.
"...so Gan slammed Kord into the fire and sat on his chest," Ulf said, his hands moving as if following what he was describing. "Kord kept trying to stab Gan with his spear, even while his fur was singeing away. Woo! Talk about a big stink! So Gan finally grabbed Kord's horns and wrenched his head around. You could hear his neck snap all the way across the clearing. Then Gan ordered Kord's thugs to drag his body out of camp and leave it for the ravens. That's the last anyone talked about eating people."
"Kord, huh?" Aribeth asked. "Wasn't he the guy with the nasty scar up by his left horn?"
"Nah," Ulf said, "That's Korg. Kord was the guy with the white splotches in his fur. Made him stand out so he couldn't hunt for shit. Animals saw him coming from a half mile away."
"Sounds like Gan has things well in hand," Fred said. "How is hunting in the forest?"
"Pretty good," Ulf said. "It took a bit to work things out with the other tribes there, but once we did that, everything's been good. Even the humans get along with us. Especially since we took on the task of helping protect Olostin's Hold." He chuckled. "There's something kind of surreal about a small child coming out and offering to put ribbons in your fur. But kind of nice, too."
"Awww," Aribeth said. "That sounds cute. I'll bet the ladies loved it."
"Err...," Ulf said, taking a ribbon out of one of his pouches. "Not just the ladies. The children were impossible to say no to."
"I can imagine," Fred said, grinning. "Kids around here can be like that, too. So, did Lada come back into the kitchen?"
"No," Aribeth said. "I was going to ask you if you'd seen her."
"Nope." Fred thought a minute, then shrugged. "My guess is, she's hiding from the evil food and the scary people, and won't come back here until we're off doing something else. So we should just leave a plate for her when we're done."
Aribeth shook her head and said softly, "She really does have trouble, doesn't she?" Then she looked at Fred and asked, "So what is it I wasn't supposed to touch?"
"Something you're going to need when you're done cooking," Fred said, then chuckled. "And enough to keep you for several months, besides."
"And you're not going to tell me, are you?" Aribeth said, pouting. "Meanie."
"Yup. That's me," Fred said, grinning. "Mean and cruel like a Sir should be."
Aribeth blushed deeply and turned back to cooking. She was scraping the last of the bacon drippings out of the pan when Storm called from the kitchen doorway.
"Good morning!" Storm called. "Is anyone in the kitchen?"
"Come on in!" Fred called back. "Mind the chair!"
Storm stepped in through the doorway, around the chair Ulf had pushed aside, and raised an eyebrow at the sight of Ulf. "So, people weren't imagining things, after all."
"Nope," Fred said. "Allow me to introduce Ulf, of the Bull Tribe. He's a damned good bard, and he's my brother."
"Your...brother?" Storm asked, her other eyebrow rising to join the first.
"And my brother, too," Aribeth said, smiling. "Ulf, this is Storm Silverhand, our neighbor and friend."
"You are Storm?" Ulf asked, rising to his feet and giving Storm a deep bow. "I have heard many good things of you, from my teacher, Mintiper."
"Mintiper...," Storm mused, returning the bow with a curtsy. "Moonsilver?"
"That would be him, yes," Ulf said. "He taught me everything I know about the bardic arts. And quite a bit about handling weapons, as well."
"All right," Storm said. "I'll have to hear you play later. What brings you to Shadowdale?"
"I came in search of Fred and Aribeth." Ulf gestured at them as he spoke. "The armies of Neverwinter are invading the High Forest, and Gan, our chief, sent me to find Fred and Aribeth and bring them home to help."
"Already?" Storm asked. "Damn. Our news is seriously out of date."
"I'm not surprised," Ulf said. "There are few in the High Forest who would think to seek for help outside. Given that, there would be little reason for news to travel outside of the forest."
"Something's bothering me," Fred said. "Why are they attacking the forest? What would be so important that Neverwinter would devote its armies to capturing it, rather than hiring some mercenaries to sneak in and take it?"
"That's a very good question," Storm said. "And I think we should get some people in there to find out before you get there. Ulf, if you don't mind, I'd like you to come with me so I be sure the information I send is accurate when I ask for investigators."
"All right," Ulf said, nodding. "Mintiper said you could be trusted as if you were one of the tribe, so I will come with you."
"Thank you." Storm said, then looked at Fred and Aribeth. "I'm sorry to be taking your brother...you know I'm going to want to hear that story...but the sooner we get people in place, the sooner we can get useful information."
"We understand," Aribeth said. "I was going to take him to meet the Druids later, so there wouldn't be any trouble with his hunting. Let me know when I can do that, OK?"
"All right," Storm said. "We'll be back as soon as possible. Thank you for understanding."
Ulf stood, got his axe and instruments from the living room, then followed Storm out of the house.
Fred walked up behind Aribeth, hugged her, and whispered, "Why don't we go find Lada after breakfast? Even if she doesn't want to eat around other people, today's a holiday. She should have a chance to celebrate, ne?"
"Assuming Sharess didn't tell her to do something else," Aribeth said. "She's still trying to figure that out, remember. And she may not know today's a holiday."
"Good point." Fred distributed the bacon onto plates, setting aside a large one for Ulf and a small one for Lada before setting his and Aribeth's on the table, and Freki's on the floor. Meanwhile, Aribeth finished cooking eggs, took the pan to the table, and scooped the eggs out onto her plate and Fred's. Freki barely avoided knocking Aribeth over when he rushed to snap up his bacon.
Once she was seated, Aribeth looked questioningly at Fred. He smiled and nodded. She took the package from the center of the table, opened it, and squee'ed happily when she saw the contents. "It's...you....this is wonderful!" She threw her arms around Fred and hugged him happily.
"So...I take it you like it?" Fred did his innocent look as he asked. Aribeth was too happy to notice.
"Yes! Oh gods, yes!" She hugged him again. "Finally, soap that doesn't feel like grit, or like it's going to scald my skin off when I use it! It's...is this where all the goat's milk went?"
"It is." Fred nodded.
"Thank you," Aribeth sighed happily as she leaned against Fred. "I thought I'd have to order from Evereska."
"You will, when we're on the road again," Fred said. "But until you use it up, there's this."
Aribeth pressed a finger to Fred's lips and whispered, "We'll worry about that when it comes. For now, just let me enjoy this, OK?"
Fred smiled and gently nipped Aribeth's finger. Aribeth shivered and snuggled against him.
"Hello, the house!" Azalar called from the front door.
Fred rolled his eyes and whispered, "I swear, we're not going to get any peace today, are we?"
"It is a holiday," Aribeth giggled, "and you are a priest." She slipped out of her chair and headed for the front door, calling out, "Good morning!"
"Good morning!" Azalar called. "Did Lada and Ulf make it here OK?"
"Yes," Aribeth said. "Ulf's over at Storm's house, working on emergency messages, and Lada's upstairs, I think."
"Baconbaconbaconbaconbacon!" Freki yapped, dancing happily around the house, then skidding to a stop at Azalar's feet and announcing, "Mom and Dad gave me bacon!"
Azalar laughed and scratched between Freki's ears. "Bacon, huh? You sound like a lucky puppy."
"Yupyupyup!" Freki agreed, his tail thumping happily on the floor. "Nice pig-guard helped us get home, so I didn't have to protect Cat-Mom and Ulf."
"Pig-guard?" Azalar mused. "Hmm...you don't know his name?"
"You have any guards who raise pigs?" Fred asked from where he leaned on the kitchen doorway.
"I do...," Azalar said slowly. "Now that you mention it, I think I know who he's talking about."
"So what brings you here so early in the day?" Aribeth asked. "I'd have thought you'd be busy with Midsummer doings."
"Oh, most of that will take place tonight," Azalar said. "I mostly just stay out of the way while people do their thing. I'm here because I promised Ulf I'd talk to the druids about what hunting he could do while he's here."
"Oh!" Aribeth laughed. "I was planning to do the same thing."
"Angus came back with me," Azalar started, then glanced around and rubbed his temples when he didn't see anyone nearby. "He's doing it again...."
Around back of the house, a mountain lion sat in a tree with a branch that came near to one of the bedroom windows. He draped himself lazily over the branch and looked in the window, watching as Lada shifted from human form to a spotted house cat, then back again. He yawned and purred, "Why don't you try jumping to the window when you're in cat form?"
Lada crouched on the end of the bed and eyed the window suspiciously. After a few moments of watching suspiciously, she humphed and leaped for the window ledge. Her leap took her just a little too far, but she managed to catch the window sill with her claws. Once she got herself settled on the window ledge, she did her best to look dignified while sniffing curiously at the mountain lion.
"Hello," Lada said. "You don't smell like Midnight, so I'm guessing she didn't send you."
"Midnight?" he laughed. "That cat couldn't send a mouse. Of course, the only reason she's not dead is that she's Aribeth's companion."
"Oh." Lada said, lost in thought a moment, then said. "My name's Lada. Nice to meet you."
"I'm Angus," the mountain lion said. "Nice to meet you. Uh-oh. The yelling's about to start."
"Angus!" Azalar yelled up. "What are you doing up in that tree? Minotaurs don't climb trees, you know!"
"See what I mean?" Angus said. He turned his head and humphed at Azalar.
"You know I can see you," Azalar said. "So there's no use pretending you're not there."
"You get in trouble with people, too?" Lada giggled. "I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets in trouble."
"He's just grumpy because I like investigating things," Angus said. "He thinks I should be more dignified and focused. I think there's too much interesting stuff to be tied down to one thing." He glanced down at Azalar, then asked, "Do you mind if I hide in your house?"
Lada turned and jumped back down onto her bed, then called up, "Come on in."
Angus squirmed through the window and landed on the bed with a solid "whump." "Thank you. Azalar gets so stuffy sometimes."
"If you fit through that window, that means Midnight fits through that window," Lada mused. "Not good."
"Oh, don't worry about Midnight," Angus said. "She's got her own problems right now." He grinned, showing lots of teeth. "Lots of problems."
"Thank you," Lada purred. "Thank you very much."
"She made the mistake of attacking a band of grigs yesterday afternoon, and...." Angus mrrred cheerfully, "....we decided to do something about her."
"Oh dear," Lada giggled. "I suppose I should feel bad for her, but I just...don't. Will the grigs be all right? Umm...what is a grig?"
"Grigs are a variety of sprite," Angus said. "What kind of druid training did you get that you don't know that?"
"Um...druid?" Lada stammered. "I'm a Claw of Sharess."
"Claw...?" Angus asked. "That's one I don't recognize." He sat up on the bed and said, "Well, then, I should finish my introduction then, yes? I am Angus MacBride, a druid of the ninth circle." He added, muttering softly, "...and have been for the last five years."
"Oh, shiny issues, huh?" Lada asked.
"Huh?" Angus asked. "What do you mean?"
Azalar turned to Fred and muttered, "What is it with him? The most...sorry to say this, but it's true...uptight woman I've seen in years, and he's in her bedroom in less than five minutes."
"She probably doesn't realize he's not a cat," Fred said. He grinned. "Fifty-fifty she shreds him when she finds out he's a druid. We should get in there so we can rescue him."
"Be nice, you two!" Aribeth said, trying not to laugh, herself. "She might need our help, after all."
"With what?" Fred asked. "I don't know any magic to get blood out of carpets."
"Yes you do," Aribeth said, giving in to laughter. "That clean orison will do the job just fine."
"Oops." Fred pushed the door open and led the way to the stairs.
"Hmm..." Lada said. "Meditate...Meditate...Meditate...Ooh! What's that? Can I play with it?"
"Uh...," Angus said, "...did you notice your armor has a rainbow sheen when the sun hits it just right?"
"Let's go downstairs," Lada said, trying to not laugh. "I may have some ideas for you."
"OK," Angus said. "You'll protect me from Azalar?"
Lada looked up at Angus and said, "I'm a house cat, Angus. What do you expect me to do? Look cute?"
"That's always a good start," Angus said, doing his best to look innocent.
"If you and Fred ever gang up on me, I am so dead," Lada muttered. "Well, here's hoping for devilbunny levels of cute."
"Devilbunny?" Angus asked, confused, as he followed Lada out the door.
Fred was just setting foot on the bottom step when Lada started down the stairs, Angus behind her. Fred turned back to Azalar and Aribeth and said, "Whatever we do, don't be too hard on him, Azalar. If he's made friends with Lada, being hard on him will just upset her, and that would be a bad thing."
"So what kind of stimulants do you have here?" Lada asked Angus.
"I don't know," Angus muttered. "Every time I try studying them, they take them away from me!"
"One of the things that actually might help, they're keeping from you," Lada said. "Poor Angus. It is counter-intuitive, though."
"Might help?" Angus asked. "I smell someone down the stairs."
"It's all right," Lada said. "It's Fred. And probably Azalar. He's advocating for both of us."
"Advocating?" Angus asked.
Fred stepped onto the landing, at the same time as Lada, and looked down at her. "New friend, love?"
"Yes," Lada answered.
"So when did you discover you could turn into a temple cat?" Fred asked, then looked at Angus and said, "So the Circle sent you to meet Ulf, eh? I'm afraid he's at Storm's house right now."
"That's OK," Angus said. "I'd rather talk to Lada anyway."
"It was my special project for the holiday," Lada said. "Oh, and could you please explain devilbunnies to Angus?"
"Cool," Fred said, nodded, then looked back down the stairs at Azalar. "Everything's kosher up here, so...." He turned back to Lada and asked, "Devilbunnies? You told him about devilbunnies?"
"I figured it would take devilbunny levels of cute to protect him from Azalar," Lada said.
"So..." Azalar said slowly, studying Lada. "That's why you're Cat-Mom....And....what's a devilbunny?"
"I'll explain later," Fred said. "It's a long, and thoroughly silly, story." He looked down at Lada and asked, "So, are you going to be dignified, or comfortable?"
Lada tilted her head to one side for a moment as she thought, then leaped up into Fred's arms and scrambled up to drape herself across his shoulders. "Comfortable."
"And what about you?" Fred asked Angus. "Now that my wife has adopted you, what do you plan to do?"
"Your...wife?" Angus asked, looking up at Lada with puppy eyes. "Adopted?"
"Yeah," Fred said. "That's how she caught me, you know. She adopted me, and look where I am now." He grinned and reached up to stroke Lada's head. "Better watch out or she may make your life happier, too."
Azalar, meanwhile, was calling upon every reserve of willpower he had to maintain a dignified expression, in the face of severe temptation to break down laughing at Angus' predicament.
"Be nice," Aribeth said. "Don't worry, Angus. Nobody's going to do anything bad or cruel to you."
"No," Lada said, "but we will give you stimulants, which will probably terrify Azalar, until they help you focus."
"Why do I always end up in situations like this?" Angus moaned.
"Don't worry," Fred said. "It happens all the time. But if she thinks you need stimulants, I know just the thing to start out with." He started down the stairs. "Follow me."
"You're not!" Azalar gasped, a look of horror on his face. "It's bad enough as it is! Can you imagine...?"
"Yup," Fred said. "But I think you'll be totally surprised. Lada has a nose for these things. Trust her."
"Fred, do you have any pea gravel?" Lada asked. "I think I'll need about five pounds."
"And a couple old blankets?" Fred asked. "No problems. We use pea gravel around the bottom of graves, to help them drain better. I have a big pile of it in the corner of the graveyard. Blankets, we can get from Aurora's, if we can't find any old ones."
"Wonderful," Lada said. "I just wish I had a sewing machine. Doing this by hand could take a while."
"Quilting bee?" Fred suggested.
"Would you mind explaining what you're talking about?" Azalar asked.
"A meditation blanket," Fred said. "It's good for people who can't keep their focus, and you can use it in the summer time. In the winter, a good heavy wool blanket is usually enough."
"Is that why you always keep that wool blanket?" Aribeth asked.
"Partly," Fred said. "The texture's comforting, too."
"Oh," Aribeth said, nodding thoughtfully. Then she smiled and asked, "So, Angus, what are your intentions toward my wife?"
Angus stopped and sat down on the stairs. "Your wife? I thought she was...but....uh....eep?"
"I think it's my turn to say 'be nice'," Lada said.
"Don't worry," Aribeth said gently, crouching to rub behind Angus' ears. "You made Lada smile. That's a good thing. Now let's go see what it is she has in mind for you." She stood and followed Fred and Lada.
"Meditation blanket," Azalar muttered, as he followed. "The strangeness just keeps getting stranger...."
"Why do I always end up in situations like this?" Angus sighed, following the others.
In Fred's office, he opened his potion cabinet and took out a half-dozen Potions of Clarity. "Here we go. It's weak and watery, but it's as close to coffee as you can get, for less than fifty gold a pound." As Azalar looked on in horror, Fred said, "Here, Angus. Try this."
Angus changed from mountain lion to human form \endash a good hefty six and a half feet tall, late twenties, flaming red hair, freckles, upturned nose, enough muscles to toss a caber, and plain-looking leather armor \endash and took the potion vial. "You're sure about this?" He asked.
"Lada says it'll help," Fred said. "And if she thinks it'll help, I'm pretty sure it will. Besides, the things she was talking about sound to me like something I'm vaguely familiar with, which is helped where we come from by giving the person stimulants." Fred paused and shrugged. "Look at it this way. If it doesn't work, all you'll have done is drunk a Potion of Clarity. You'll be more resistant to mind magic for a few minutes."
"Good point," Angus said. "You're sure, Lada?"
"As sure as I can be," Lada said. "Even on Earth, there's not really a test for it."
Angus opened the vial and Lada sneezed, then wrinkled her nose. "Ooh, nasty! When did we move to Seattle?"
"Now you see why I don't drink the stuff unless I need caffeination," Fred said. "Go ahead, Angus. Like I said, the worst that'll happen is you'll be resistant to mind magic for a few minutes."
"True...," Angus said, eying the vial. He sighed, screwed up his face, then downed the potion in one quick gulp. Once the potion was down, he shuddered and gasped out, "Gods, that is nasty. I don't know what Seattle is, but I agree with Lada."
"OK," Fred said, "Now..." he paused, then pulled a scroll out of its place in a cabinet near his desk, and handed it to Angus. "I think you should try reading this."
Angus looked suspiciously at the scroll, then took it from Fred. He opened it, looked, and groaned. "You want me to read this? It's...it's..." He sighed and sat down, then started to read.
"Angus, when you read, do the letters ever dance around or appear in a strange order?" Lada asked.
Angus blinked in surprise and looked at Lada, then whispered, "How did you know? Everyone says it's impossible."
Fred said, "Oh...my. Never mind the scroll, then." He took the scroll and tucked it back into its cubbyhole. "Why don't you try meditating, instead?"
"Meditating," Angus said, then sighed and sat down.
"Wait," Lada said, as she jumped off Fred's shoulder and shifted back to her human form. "Let me see that scroll. A better test than meditation would be for me to read the scroll to Angus."
Fred raised an eyebrow, then handed the scroll to Lada. "Just don't fall asleep while you're reading it."
Azalar snorted. "Don't fall asleep, eh? What is it? A summary of the last year's farm produce for the Dale?"
"It's a summary," Fred said, smiling. "But not of the farm produce."
"Great," Lada muttered. "Well, shoo, everybody! I've only been able to use these eyeballs for two tendays." She looked at Fred and Aribeth and asked, "Could you please bring me something to drink? Preferably with nutritional value? Thank you."
"No problem," Fred said. "Come on, Azalar. I'll show you a trick I learned a few years back. Don't know if you'll like it, but Aribeth and I do."
As Fred and Azalar left the room, Aribeth put a hand gently on Lada's shoulder and said, "If you need anything, just call, OK?" She smiled at Angus and said, "Don't worry, Angus. She doesn't bite."
Angus blushed, and Lada said, "Thank you," as Aribeth left the room.
Lada sat in Fred's chair and opened the scroll, while looking at Angus and saying, "Please be patient with me. I'm used to using readers, not being one."
"Reader?" Angus asked. "What's that?"
"A reader is someone who reads texts out loud to someone else who can't, for whatever reason," Lada said.
"You mean," Angus asked, a look of astonishment on his face, "there are people who do that?"
"There were back on Earth," Lada said. "Tell me if you need me to repeat something, or go faster or slower."
"All right," Angus said, still looking \endash and sounding \endash amazed.
Lada held the scroll so it was easy to read, and began. "Durnan McKenzie was born on the third day of Alturiak, in the Year of the Bow. His parents, Stedd McKenzie and Shandri Buckman, dedicated him at the new Temple of the Lady within a few months of his birth. As a child, he was known for his collection of pets...."
In the kitchen, Fred had a pitcher of milk and a bowl of yogurt, and was talking to Azalar as he mixed up something to drink.
"Back on Earth, we called this lassi," Fred said. "It's really very easy to make. Just take a few spoonfuls of yogurt, a glass of milk, and some flavoring. Given what we have here, I'm going to stir in some honey, a little ground hazelnut, and a few sprigs of catnip. The hard part is the catnip." As he spoke, Fred was stripping some leaves off a fresh sprig of catnip and dumping them in a glass. He poured a little honey into the glass, then took a wooden spoon and began mashing the leaves against the bottom. "We call this muddling. It's easier to do with sugar, but you know how expensive sugar is. You just mash the mint into the bottom of the glass, along with your sweetener, until your leaves are completely broken down, kind of like this. Now, the ground hazelnuts, like this...and the yogurt...." He took enough yogurt to fill the bottom of the glass about a half inch deep. "There. And now, fill the glass with milk and stir until everything's blended together." He sniffed the glass, then grinned. "I think I'm going to make some for myself. You want any?"
"Lassi, you say?" Azalar asked. "Sure. I'll give it a try."
"Don't forget a glass for me," Aribeth said, smiling. She nodded at Azalar and added, "It's really good, and makes even poor milk taste good. The Bedine do something similar, but I'm just not a big fan of camel's milk."
Fred laughed and started in on four more glasses. "I'll second that. It'd be rude to turn it down, but if I have a choice between that and sheep or goat milk, I'll take the latter."
Angus began shifting uncomfortably as the potion began to wear off, and Lada seemed to be nowhere near finishing the scroll. He had never imagined that a single person's biography could be so involved. It had been easy to pay attention at first, but as the potion wore off, his attention began to drift, to the other scrolls in the room, to the liturgical garb folded on top of a storage chest by the desk, to the various office supplies on top of the desk, even to the way Lada's face looked as she read. Come to think of it, she had a very pretty face. And Fred and Aribeth had both seemed unconcerned that he had been in her room alone with her. That was odd.
Lada looked up, caught Angus studying her, and said, "I guess the potion wore off, huh?"
Angus' face turned as red as his hair and he stammered, "Uh...uh...uh-huh...."
"Hazelnut and mint lassi for everyone!" Fred announced as he walked through the office door, carrying mugs in both hands. Aribeth took two mugs from Fred's right hand and handed one to Lada and one to Angus, then perched on the end of the desk with her own, while Fred leaned against the wall beside her and watched Lada and Angus while sipping his own.
"So, how far through the scroll did you get?" Fred asked, nodding as Azalar came through the door.
Lada pointed to a spot on the scroll, about a third of the way down, and said, "I think the potion wore off about here."
"Sounds about right," Fred said, nodding. "From all the reports, Durnan was a busy boy."
"He was," Azalar said. He eyed the scroll, then looked at Angus and asked, "You really listened to all that?"
"I...uh...yes?" Angus stammered.
"Well, we'll have to see, won't we?" Azalar said. He extended a hand to Lada and asked, "Do you mind if I borrow that a minute?"
"Please do," Lada said, handing Azalar the scroll. Once her hands were free, she picked up the mug Aribeth had given her and took a sip.
Azalar scanned through the portion of the scroll Lada had indicated, then asked, "So, do you remember what Durnan did when his mother caught him sneaking a bear cub into his bedroom?"
"Sure," Angus said, pausing between sips to answer. "He told her it was really a dog that belonged to the apHughs. He was hoping she'd never seen the dog, and that she wouldn't see the bear cub clearly enough in the darkness to be able to tell the difference."
Azalar hmm'ed, then rolled the scroll back up a bit farther, before asking, "Who helped Durnan's mother care for him and his brothers and sisters when he was a toddler?"
"Wasn't that Dorna FitzHugh?" Angus asked, while glancing around the room distractedly.
"How did you do it?" Azalar asked, looking at Lada in awe. "Usually, it takes weeks of effort to get him to learn even that much."
"Are you expecting guests from out of town?" Angus asked.
"No...," Fred said, glancing at Aribeth and giving her a quick nod.
Aribeth slid off the desk and set down her mug, then whistled.
"Oh, Midnight's not going to come," Angus said. "She was caught killing grigs, so we put her in a cage at the grove until we figure out what to do with her."
Freki came bounding into the room, barking excitedly. "Dad! Dad! Strange people with walking dead!"
"Frak!" Fred growled. "Undead. Why do they always bring undead?"
"Mrow," Lada whined, looking down at her empty mug. "Where'd it go?"
"Oh, frak!" Fred grumbled. "I put catnip in that. You're going to be useless."
"Maybe not," Azalar said, loosening his rapier. "Angus, make sure she's sober."
"It's catnip, not alcohol," Angus protested. "None of my magic will make the slightest difference."
"She was...," Aribeth gasped, a look of horror on her face. At the sound of banging on the front door, she reached for a bow that was hanging on the wall by the door and snarled, "That'll keep. Freki, keep Lada safe."
Fred took his sword off the rack by his desk and led the way down the hall, ahead of Aribeth. At the living room, Aribeth stopped and aimed for the door, while Fred stood in the middle of the room and called out, "Keep knocking like that and you're going to get a Sunnyhell welcome, from me and Mr. Pointy!"
"Mr. Pointy?" Azalar whispered, standing beside Aribeth.
"Don't ask," Aribeth answered. "He tried to explain it to me once, and all he did was give me a headache."
"So where does this fall on the Apocalypse Scale?" Lada asked, giggling maniacally. "The Apocalypse Scale. We're on the Apocalypse Scale, and I'm doped up on kitty crack."
"This?" Fred shot back. "It doesn't even rank. Think Captain Forehead with an upset stomach."
"OK," Lada purred, while leaning against Angus. "I'll snuggle this cute thing here."
Angus looked down at Lada, blinked rapidly, then began mumbling under his breath as he tried to remember any spells that he could adapt to the current situation.
The front door blew in, followed by a bolt of lightning. While the dust was still settling, Aribeth began firing through the opening.
"Damn it!" Fred complained as he set himself to meet the first of the invaders. "Why do they never simply open the damned door? It's not like it was locked!"
"Does he always complain like this?" Azalar asked, then threw a hail of thorns through the doorway.
"Only when we're not the ones initiating," Aribeth said, glanced at Fred with a loving smile, then dropped a zombie with an arrow through the head. "At least this is our house. You should hear him complain if the bad guys hurt someone else's home while trying to get to us."
A dwarf in full plate charged through the doorway, swinging a two-handed axe. Fred dodged the axe, spun, and slashed across the dwarf's back. The dwarf turned to swing at Fred again, and fell, an arrow through his left eye.
Angus looked down at Lada, who was clinging to his chest and sleeping as if nothing unusual were happening around her, and sighed. He scooped her up, carried her back down the hallway a few feet, and gently placed her on the floor. "Keep her safe, Freki," he said, before returning to the living room.
"Angus, now would be a very good time for some nice thorny vines," Azalar suggested.
Angus nodded and began chanting. A moment later, the area around the front door was filled with a tangled mass of brambles, dense enough to prevent movement without injury to the invaders. Fred nodded, slipped a wand out of his sleeve, and pointed it through the doorway. A moment later, several loud booms in rapid succession announced the arrival of flamestrikes.
"Aaaa! Aaaa! Getitoff! Getitoff! Getit >crunch<" came from down the hallway, where Angus had placed Lada. Angus and Azalar hurried to intervene, then stood, staring down at the sight of a lioness, curled up, sleeping, in the middle of the hallway, holding a dead halfling assassin in her mouth, her fangs punched through his skull.
"Uh, Azalar? I'm not going to try taking that from her." Angus said, unsteadily.
"I think, in this case, we should just let sleeping cats lie," Azalar agreed.
"I tried," Freki whimpered. "She got all kitty and bit him before I could stop her."
"Don't worry," Azalar said, dropping to one knee and scratching between Freki's ears. "You're a good boy."
"Bacon?" Freki asked, hopefully wagging his tail.
"I'm sure Fred will give you some, after all the bad guys are dead," Azalar said. "So let's make sure they're all dead, OK?"
"Bacon!" Freki barked happily, and ran down the hallway to the living room.
In the living room, Aribeth was leaning against Fred, the couple looking through the brambles into the devastation that had been their front yard. "You know, sweetheart, flamestrikes are almost as hard on the lawn as they are on the garden."
"As long as they're harder on the bad guys, I don't mind," Fred said. "Much."
"Lada caught an assassin," Angus said. "She's...uh...big. Really big."
"Oh?" Fred asked. "How big is 'really big'?"
"Cat-mom could shred Midnight!" Freki announced, while dancing excitedly in front of Fred and Aribeth..
"She could, huh?" Fred chuckled, then looked from Freki to Angus and Azalar. "An assassin?"
"Halfling," Azalar said. "Probably got in a window. She's...let's just say, we're not going to try taking the body away from her."
"And people wonder why I prefer a Kemetic house plan," Fred muttered under his breath.
"She's not playing with its skull, is she?" Aribeth asked, a sly smile on her face.
"Errr...no," Angus said. "She's...holding it by the head."
"Lada and skulls," Aribeth giggled. "As bad as Fred and flamestrikes."
"Hey!" Fred protested, while hugging Aribeth tightly. "I resemble that remark!"
"Get a room," Azalar growled, smiling.
"Don't mind if I do," Fred announced, moving as if to scoop Aribeth up in his arms.
Aribeth deftly danced out of his reach and asked, "So what did you see, if anything?"
"Didn't see anything," Angus said. "But I heard someone screaming, for just a moment, then a crunching noise. When we got into the hallway, Lada was curled up, sleeping, with the assassin's head in her mouth. And Freki's right. She's big enough that she could shred Midnight without much effort. Assuming she were as quick as she was with the assassin."
"That might be the best thing for everyone," Aribeth hissed, leaning against Fred and clutching his arm as he wrapped it around her. "She...when it was just me, I could assume I was being punished for what I did. But she's hurting other people, too? Even beings as innocent as grigs?"
"What else can you expect when you have a Bane Beast for a pet?" Angus asked. Fred, Aribeth, and Azalar all stared at him with varying degrees of shock written on their faces. "What? You didn't know? I thought it was obvious!"
"Midnight...," Fred started, then shook his head. "I'd HEARD of them, but never saw one before."
"So...she...," Aribeth shuddered and cuddled against Fred.
"That explains what seemed so familiar," Azalar said. "I thought I was just being over-sensitive."
"I said she was a bad kitty!" Freki announced, smugly.
"Yes, you did," Aribeth said, and knelt to hug Freki. "And I'm sorry I didn't believe you."
"Do you remember when and where you got her?" Azalar asked. "If there's one, there was likely to be more."
"Yes," Fred said, when Aribeth seemed disinclined to answer. "We were near Hellgate Keep, just a couple weeks after leaving the Bull Tribe so the bounty hunters didn't find them while hunting us."
"Well, that explains it," Azalar said. "There's so many of them around there, you'd have been extremely fortunate to not end up with one. At least you didn't end up with some kind of demonic or diabolical animal."
"Then again, if we'd run into one of those, it wouldn't have lasted long enough to get here," Fred said.
"Even if it had," Aribeth said, standing and leaning against Fred, "Lada probably would have done to it what she did to that crypt spawn her first night here."
"What...she did...to that...crypt spawn?" Angus asked. "What did she do...to a crypt spawn?"
"Used its skull for a plaything," Aribeth said, her tone of voice so innocent it could only be fake.
"Used...its skull...for a plaything?" Angus squeaked, looking toward the hallway. "And...you thought...she needed guarding?"
"Well, she is stoned," Fred said. "I didn't expect her to go all feral on us."
"Good thing she did," Azalar said. "Halfling assassins are annoying."
"Speaking from experience?" Fred asked.
"Unfortunately," Azalar said. "I hate Zhents."
"Doesn't everyone?" Fred agreed.
"You know," Aribeth said, "This emphasizes that we need to get on the road. This makes two groups of bounty hunters in less than a month. With that, and Ulf's news, the sooner we're on our way to Neverwinter, the better."
"I'm afraid you're right, love," Fred agreed. "I'm sorry I didn't have time to train an assistant, Azalar. I'll send a letter to Suzail, asking for a priest who can deal with rural living."
"We'll manage," Azalar said. "Glamerie managed things adequately before you arrived, and we can get by again until you return."
"Ewwww," Lada complained sleepily from the hallway. "What tastes all greasy?"
"That's hair oil, dear," Aribeth said, barely restraining a giggle as she walked into the hallway. "Why not just let go of your toy so we can clean it up?"
"Oh, good idea," Lada agreed, then spat out the halfling. "Bleah." She stretched, yawned, and went back to sleep, while Aribeth picked up the body.
"You're right," Fred said quietly to Angus, "she is big."
"All right," Aribeth said as she put the dead halfling down on a coffee table. "Let's see what we can find out, shall we?"
"For starters," Azalar said, "he's been staying at the Old Skull for nearly a full tenday. If he hasn't cleared out, we should be able to learn more by examining his room, and by talking with Jhaele."
"Good plan," Fred said, nodding in agreement while watching Aribeth strip-search the body. "Anything interesting, love?"
"Yes," Aribeth said, holding up the assassin's undergarment. "I didn't know you could convince a man to wear lock picks there."
Angus turned as red as his hair, while Azalar snorted. "You'd be amazed at what we've found on prisoners. And in them."
"Not really," Aribeth said. "Given what we've run into the last few years, not much amazes me any more."
"I think you'd better sit down," Fred said, gently pushing Angus toward a chair. "You look like you're about to implode."
"I can't imagine why," Aribeth said, as she tossed the undergarment aside and began examining the assassin's other gear. "Well, this is interesting." She took a folded piece of parchment out of one of the assassin's pouches and opened it up. The parchment was printed with a fair likeness of both Fred and Aribeth, with a list of crimes on it that made Azalar whistle as he read it, and a bounty that inspired Aribeth to say, "If I thought we could get away with it, I'd turn myself in, for that much money."
"You know, that might get us close enough," Fred mused.
"You're insane," Azalar stated. "Absolutely insane."
"And this is news, exactly how?" Fred asked, grinning. "Why don't we sit down and talk about what use we can make of this bounty situation?"
"And how it might help us with the Tribe," Aribeth added.